i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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