Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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