he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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