A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize