I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
