I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
