He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
