I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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