I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
