he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
