Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
