Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I need moral support for this bender
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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