so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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