i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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