And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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