I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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