She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you win again, gameday.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
