so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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