just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
