I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
