Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
