she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
