we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize