I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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