Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
