my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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