We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
