found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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