i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
