brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize