My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
