the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
