I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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