I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
