Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I can text with my tongue
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
