Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
