I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
