I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize