Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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