me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
