well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
