I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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