3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
