thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
