fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
