who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
