its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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