Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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