Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
