So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
