I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
birth control should be required to get into college
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
