Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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