If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
