I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
