So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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