The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
