So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
