There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
