Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
