but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
